(NB- this isn’t just mine. I got the basic idea from a group and modified it)
“Please, God, give me the strength and clearheadedness to do what I need to do, and the ability to hide my feelings enough that people don’t know I’m miserable (so they won’t hate/think less of me and might even agree to hang out with me!)”
We’re not asking for constant happiness, to have our troubles taken away, or for any such thing. Most of us eventually give up on all that, at some level. What we want is what you (the reader) want. We know what you think, what you say to each other. We feel like parasites at times, for being needy and broken. And we know it would be inconvenient and to some, hurtful if we were to die, so that’s not an option. We want to be able to pretend to be fun and happy around you, so we can help you and make you smile and make your lives better. We want to be able to wake up early, do all our work really well, make life and the world better for everyone.
Most of us wouldn’t care if we cried all night and were miserable and even if we were being abused by ourselves or others, if we could only do that.
That, and other people we love, are usually the only things left in this world we care about at all.
If you want to do God’s work, then please read this and think if there is a way you could help someone to meet that goal. To get help. To try for years, changing medications, therapy types, helping them with CBT… showing them that they are making the world better and how they can improve their ability to make others happy and do their life’s work.
It’s not easy. It’s not one ride to a doctor for most of us. It takes a lot of time and effort and love. Not just saying “I love her” and thinking happy thoughts her way, but the kind of love that will make you tired sometimes, make you want to give up. Real love.
“Most of us need to work on how we love. I know I do. May we all love better. Amen”